


Sidekick

by sunflowersapphic



Category: The Book of Mormon - Parker/Stone/Lopez
Genre: Friends With Benefits, Friends With Benefits to something more, I've never written a multi-chap fic so let's see how this goes, Implied/Referenced Sex, M/M, Non-Explicit Sex, also, multi-chapter, possibly
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-11-10
Updated: 2015-11-18
Packaged: 2018-04-30 22:46:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,902
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5182475
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sunflowersapphic/pseuds/sunflowersapphic
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Connor proposes that they try and take the arrangement of "friends with benefits" on a different track. Kevin isn't so sure he knows how to do that.</p><p>Heavily influenced by the Walk The Moon song of the same title.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. something in the air is giving me dangerous thoughts

“Why don’t you stay? I can make breakfast if you want.”

Kevin froze, leg halfway into his jeans. Not exactly what he expected from his friend-with-benefits. He never stayed past nine the next morning, wasn’t that how this whole thing worked? “I would hate to inconvenience you,” Kevin smiled awkwardly, quickly finishing pulling his pants on and beginning the search for his shirt.

“It’s not a problem at all, I like to cook,” Right, Connor was _wearing_ the shirt. “You know that. I promise it’ll only be today. It’s just food, Kevin.”

Something in the offer didn’t sit right with Kevin, but that wasn’t going to stop him from accepting food.

Kevin followed Connor out to the kitchen and took a seat at the table, sleepily watching the redhead pull everything he needed from cupboards and cabinets. It was strangely endearing, Kevin thought, to see him buzzing around. Standing on his toes to reach a bowl, kneeling down to grab a platter. Connor’s cooking skills were limited to baked goods and breakfast foods, but that didn’t mean he put any less love into those two categories. _Maybe letting him cook breakfast for me more often wouldn’t be such a bad thing_ , Kevin thought. And he had to admit, the sight of Connor in nothing but his briefs and Kevin’s unbuttoned shirt was a pretty good view.

“I figured we’d go with pancakes today, since that’s quick and easy enough. Is that alright..?” Connor glanced over his shoulder at Kevin, eyebrows raised in question.

Kevin nodded. “At this point I think I’d take anything you made me.” He smiled crookedly and Connor grinned back before turning his attention to the food.

Connor was right about the process being quick, and before Kevin knew it there was a plate in front of him and Connor across from him at the table. It took a moment for him to realize that Connor was avoiding meeting his eyes, nor had he eaten anything.

“Are you feeling alright…?” Kevin asked tentatively.

Connor shifted in his seat uncomfortably and played with the hem of Kevin’s shirt briefly before taking a breath and making firm eye contact. “I was going to ask you today if you’ve ever, maybe… thought of taking this in a different direction.”

Kevin dropped his fork. He had been expecting Connor to ask him to try out some new weird kink of his, not… not _this._ “Not really, no… Have you…?” _Stupid question, Kevin—of course he has, that’s why he’s asking._

Connor’s freckled cheeks turned a visible pink and Kevin felt a twinge in his gut that might have been fondness. He disregarded it quickly, Connor’s words interrupting him before he got the chance to think on it too much. “Yes, actually, for a while now. We’ve been doing this for what, almost a year now? I thought it might be time to have this conversation.”

“I don’t understand why there needs to be a conversation,” Kevin frowned. “We’ve been doing this for about a year, just like you said. Don’t you think that means things are working as they are?”

“It could mean that, yes, but it also just makes me wonder why neither of us have moved on to new partners, or why both of us have seemed to avoid relationships during this time,” Kevin hadn’t considered that. “Look, this isn’t the first time either of us have dealt with this type of relationship, or whatever you would call this. This friends-with-benefits thing. But it’s the first time either of us have kept the same partner consecutively for so long. Don’t you think that says something about us, Kevin?”

“But the whole point of it is to not get involved like this. To me this just means the sex is good.” Kevin tried to ignore the hurt look on Connor’s face. “Look, Connor, I enjoy you. I enjoy you a _lot_ , which is why I hang out with you outside of these nights. But I don’t know if a relationship is where this is headed.”

“What if I gave you an ultimatum?”

_Wait, what?_

“We’re getting too old for this, Kevin. I mean—,” Connor paused, chewing his lip in thought. “We’re in our twenties still, that’s young. Really young. But we’re out of college now, we should be done with the whole casual hookup thing. Everyone around us is in relationships, trying out what they like and don’t like in a partner. Finding emotional connection. I want to at least give that a try with you.” Connor looked at him pleadingly. He had reached across the table, taking Kevin’s hand in both of his. “You’re special, Kev. Something really incredible. I’d be lying if I said that I wasn’t hoping for this from the start.”

It was a lot harder to refuse Connor when he was laying on the flattery that thick. “And if I say no we just… end things?”

A nod. “You can find someone else to be your fuck buddy, and I’ll work on finding someone who’s worth my time to date. We continue being friends, without the benefits.”

Kevin nodded slowly. “I’m going to take some time to think this over, if that’s alright with you.”

Connor released Kevin’s hand and smiled brightly, leaning back in his chair. “Beyond alright. Take all the time you need.”

The rest of breakfast passed in an anxious quiet, tinged with an energy they couldn’t quite place.


	2. head first into the water

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I guess all the chapter titles will be Walk The Moon related because we're just going to continue on this trend of WTM trashiness.  
> Another relatively short chapter, I guess that's just in my nature. Enjoy!

As with most things in his life, Kevin decided that the best course of action was to get coffee and talk life over with Arnold. Even if Arnold didn’t always have the most reliable input, it was always therapeutic to talk at someone as opposed to just into the void.

“Is this whole thing as big as I think it is, or am I blowing it out of proportion? This was supposed to be fun and easy, nothing was supposed to come of it! He’s asking too much.” Kevin sighed heavily and took another hit off his coffee, running a hand through his hair. A few sips into the espresso and his plan to calmly talk things out had failed rather miserably.

“I think you might be focusing too much on what it was supposed to be, and not what you guys could be,” Arnold started gently as if to ease Kevin into the idea. “You’ve gotta keep your mind open.”

Kevin whined and leaned back in his chair. No matter how old he got, Kevin Price was always a petulant child at heart. “I don’t _want_ to keep it open.”

Arnold sighed softly, silently determining what the best way to go about things was. Kevin Price was a tough man to deal with, but if there was anyone who could do it, it was Arnold.  “If you want my opinion, I think this could be something great. I think Connor’s got a point, Kevin. You two are super attached already, and I mean—,” he smiled, “—the way you look at him when he’s not paying attention is the way I look at Naba. That’s _something._ ”

“I mean…” Kevin shifted uncomfortably, taking a long drink of his coffee. “Maybe. When he mentioned finding someone else to date and I just—I felt _sick_ , Arnold. I think it was just the thought of me not having _anyone_ , though, I don’t know if it’s the idea of losing Connor in particular.” He fiddled with the lid on his coffee, the same sick feeling he had just described creeping back up on him. Alright, so maybe the idea of having to live without Connor wasn’t exactly one he wanted to entertain. That didn’t mean he was ready to admit to it.

“What exactly are you losing by trying, Kevin?” Arnold asked, innocently enough.

“Possibly everything?” Kevin blurted out, incredulous. He blushed when he realized exactly what he had said. “I mean—I didn’t mean to word it like that, I just meant that Connor and I are friends outside of what we do in bed, and if we try this relationship thing and it doesn’t work out then I lose one of my best friends. It’s not— _he’s_ not that important, we’re just close is what I’m getting at.”

(Of course, having known Kevin for years now, Arnold saw right through all the crap. Being the good friend that he was, though, he let Kevin go.)

“Why don’t you just give it a little more thought? You’ve got the time, right?”

“Yeah….” Kevin nodded absently. “Yeah. I’ve got time.”

* * *

 

Somewhere halfway across the city, Christopher Thomas and Connor McKinley were huddled up in Chris’s shoebox apartment surrounded by more snack food than either of them could ever possibly eat on their own. Such an activity was typical of the two of them whenever one was in need of the other—or just whenever they were in need of time away from the bullshit that was everyday adult life.

“I ruined it! I killed it, whatever we had is over, and it’s my fault.” Connor sighed and flopped back against the couch, which had been made into a barricade of thick blankets and pillows. “I thought I approached it right but now I’m not sure.” He paused, voice dropping a little. “I struggle with these things, you know that.”

Next to him, Chris sighed softly and passed him the bag of marshmallows. “Take these, you clearly need them. If you want my opinion, you’re overthinking this too much. It’s been a _day_ since you suggested this to him, and it’s a big proposal. You literally asked him out, Connor.”

Connor sat up, frowning. “What? No, I _suggested_ a relationship, that’s not asking someone out.”

Christopher looked at him flatly. “That is exactly what it means to ask someone out.”

After a moment of thought, Connor’s posture slumped. “My God, you’re right. I asked him out.” He took a handful of marshmallows, popping one into his mouth. Of all the foods he may be particular about, marshmallows were not one of them. “That was probably a step too far.”

“Not for what you wanted it wasn’t,” Chris adjusted himself so he was facing Connor. “Look. You want to date him, right? Don’t answer that, we all know you do. How else did you expect it to happen? Everything is going to smooth itself over as it should. Stop worrying and let Heavenly Father take care of it all.”

Connor snorted. “Right, because Heavenly Father is going to help me start a relationship with another man. I’m sure that’s exactly what He wants.”

This got him and eye roll and a shove. “You understand what I meant. It’ll be okay, Connor. You were just as worried when he first made the friends with benefits offer to you, and look where you’re at. Sometimes you have to put your trust in the universe.” Chris smiled and snatched a marshmallow from the bag Connor still held.

Connor smiled weakly and worried his lip. Before he got a chance to respond his phone, laying between the two of them, began to buzz. Both boys glanced down at the screen at the same time, each registering the name illuminated at the same pace.

“Looks like you’ve got your answer.”


	3. a heavy leaf to turn

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I rewrote this so many times, I'm just hoping it comes off as coherent. I've edited it to hell and back and I'm still not happy with it but I think at this point this is where it needs to be. Also, I believe this is the longest chapter to date! Enjoy!

Kevin realized about halfway through their first real date that he seemed to have forgotten everything he knows about first dates and how normal people conduct them. All he knows is that sometimes you kiss on them and sometimes you don’t, but does that even matter when you’ve had the other person naked and desperate beneath you? He spends most of the night trying to push the less than decent memories he has of Connor out of his head and puts real effort into trying to genuinely enjoy the other man’s company.

They ended up at a small frozen yogurt shop, seated outside where they could watch the sun set and the people pass. Connor chattered on about his latest audition while Kevin mindlessly spooned yogurt into his mouth. He was too focused on it to realize when Connor stopped talking, looking to Kevin with an apprehensive expression.

“I… huh?” Kevin smiled apologetically. “I lost you, Con, could you repeat that?”

“I asked if you were doing okay, you seemed… really spaced out.” Connor’s voice lacked the brightness it had held moments before. Kevin immediately got the _you fucked up_ vibe. Which, admittedly, was fairly common when it came to his romantic endeavors. “We can go take a walk if you’d prefer that, then we’d at least be doing something.” A pause. “I mean, it’s getting late anyway, why don’t you just take me back to my apartment? We can walk through the park to get there. Two birds with one stone.”

“That sounds perfect, actually!” The words came with a little too much enthusiasm, and Kevin hoped his attempt to save the mood wasn’t too heavy handed. Seeing Connor unhappy didn’t sit right with him—whether it was because Kevin himself had been the cause or some other reason, the brunet couldn’t tell. Like most Connor-related feelings, Kevin decided it was something that could be filed away to be dealt with at a later date.

Connor led the way and still managed to be the one carrying the majority of the conversation as they walked. That seemed to be a running theme that night.

Kevin had to admit that while the city was gorgeous at sunset there was something possibly even more beautiful in the way Connor looked when he was lit up with passion. The two had known one another for years and Kevin had obviously noticed in that time that Connor was a very handsome individual; but the odd, almost anxious feeling that had settled in his gut told him that this was different.

Again, something else to file away.

The conversation halted for a moment while Connor took Kevin’s hand, quickly resuming what he was saying to cover up the action. His hand was soft but felt stiff and unmoving in Kevin’s own, as if he wasn’t ready to fully commit to the act. The aura of the night was quickly sent from slightly awkward to almost unbearable. The conversation died long before they made it back to Connor’s apartment, leaving both men tense.

Connor mentally kicked himself for initiating it. It was funny, he thought, how even with the person you know better than anybody else there can still be moments in which you feel a million miles apart. The thought crossed his mind that maybe this meant a relationship was not where they needed to be.

“You know, this is the first ‘first date’ that I’ve had in… gosh, years!” Connor forced a laugh, trying to revive the corpse of their former conversation.

Kevin nodded. “Dating has never been for me, so I guess I can say the same.” Kevin wondered immediately if it’s in bad taste to tell the man you’re on a date with that you don’t like dating.

“It’s nice, I just… have trouble finding people I feel are worth continuing things with, if that makes any sense. I feel like I have a lot of baggage not everyone can handle.” Connor shrugged.

“And you think I can handle it?” Kevin didn’t know whether Connor meant to say he felt Kevin was qualified for the task or whether he was trying to push him away. Maybe the fact that he couldn’t tell was a sign in and of itself. Maybe he was overthinking it all and Connor wasn’t even talking about him.

“I think that you know me well enough to know what you’re getting into, at least.” Connor’s smile had a saddened tone to it. Maybe a first date was not the time to be asking these questions, Kevin thought. “I think the fact that we’re both ex-Mormons might help.” Connor’s smile took on a more genuine quality to it and Kevin felt something like delight grow within his chest. A smile meant things were headed back in the right direction.

By the time they reached Connor’s apartment the sun had set completely. Neither could tell if the sun had really just gone down earlier than usual or if the small conversations that passed between them seemed to make time pass faster.

“This was nice, Kevin, thank you for this,” Connor leaned against his door, smiling up at Kevin.

“It was honestly my pleasure.” Kevin returned the smile. Trying to force past the awkwardness was almost making it worse. Figuring he had nothing left to lose, Kevin leaned down and caught Connor’s lips in a kiss. It was supposed to be quick and sweet, but when were things ever quick between the two of them? It lasted far longer than was intended—not that either minded.

Connor was the one to pull away, cheeks flushed and voice low. “Do you want to maybe stay here tonight?” His intentions were clear enough. Kevin answered him with another kiss, barely giving Connor enough time to unlock his door and let them in.

* * *

 

Hours later in the darkness of Connor’s bedroom the two laid back to back, a heavy feeling settling over them both. To Connor it felt like shame and disappointment, and to Kevin it felt like way too many things at once.

Failure seemed to be the most apt word to describe the gist of it, though.


End file.
